Inaugural celebrations from Washington, DC to St. Paul, MN

President Obama gets out of limo - screenshot
Originally uploaded by Kathlyn Stone

As President Obama stepped out of his limo to walk for part of his symbolic approach to the White House via Pennsylvania Avenue on Jan. 20, hundreds of elementary school students at St. Paul's Expo for Excellence Magnet Elementary were concluding their own inaugural march along Randolph Street and Snelling Avenue.

View slideshow of some happy children and adults celebrating the day.

Obama Names ‘The South Shall Rise Again’ President to Speak at Inauguration

by Sandy Sand

Feeling that Rick Warren wasn’t enough to prove he means what he says about talking with those with whom he disagrees, Barack Obama asked another controversial person to speak at his inauguration.

In an astonishing move that sent the country reeling and leaving most loquacious pundits speechless, President-elect Barack Obama invited the self-ordained preacherman and president of The South Shall Rise Again, Langford T. Rednecker, to give the second invocation at his inauguration.

Saying that he is passionately determined to bring together people of opposing views, Obama defended his choice of Rednecker to speak at the inauguration.
“It’s beside the point that Rednecker is a disgusting individual, who is still living in the 19th Century, and wants to re-enslave all African-Americans or kill us off and secede from the Union.

“This is still a free country and he’s free to express his opinions and goals no matter how outrageous and offensive they are,” Obama added, “everyone should have a place at the discussion table.”

In that light, Obama also said that after he’s sworn into office he will arrange for Warren and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sit across the table from each other and have three cups of tea as suggested by radio talk host Thom Hartmann to discuss their differences.

At the end of the meeting Warren will immediately smite Ahmadinejad with his sword right across his throat.

Having called for the assassination of Ahmadinejad and finding no takers, in a prepared statement Warren will say: If you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.

In keeping with Obama’s determination to expand meetings of un-like-minded people, he’s arranged for discussions among devotees of feng shui to meet with proponents of Chinese modern, French provincial and new wave ultra modern decorators, which he feels will prove to be very colorful.

He’s more than likely barking up the wrong tree in suggesting that dog people can meet with cat people and not scratch each others eyes out.

Separate cages will be needed for the zoo people versus the game park people.
Jerry Springer will moderate the debate between beer drinking, wife swapping trailer park trash and members of the Emily Post Society.

Jeraldo Rivera will anchor debates amongst chair-throwing political candidates.

Speculators agree that it will be a cold day in hell if lovers of chocolate ice cream can reach an accord with vanilla or strawberry lovers. Resolute that they are correct, fans of Chunky Monkey and Chubby Hubby have refused to participate.

In discussing the upcoming Difference of Opinion conferences, Obama Press Secretary B. Levy Mee, said no meetings will be scheduled between Cubs and Sox or Yankees and Mets fans.

“It’s just too dangerous,” Mee said.

Because of the recent shoe throwing incident in Iraq and the public outrage at Obama’s selection of the gay-woman-hating Warren and the black-hating, white supremacist Rednecker to give the invocations, the Secret Service has issued orders that all inaugural attendees will have their shoes Crazy glued to their feet.

Omigawd! Barack Obama Sparkled on “60 Minutes” Interview

by Sandy Sand

What a joy!

After eight years of Inarticulate-Dumbbell-Fool-Hoof-in-Mouth-in-Chief G.W.B., it was heaven to watch Barack and Michelle Obama in their first interview since the election on 60 Minutes last night.

I’m not sure we can cope with a president who’s articulate, looks like he’s comfortable in his own skin, has a real sense of humor and not that of a first grader, and who can graciously refuse to answer a question without slamming the questioner.

Michell Obama is a welcome relief from the plastic-wrapped Laura, whose popularity is beyond me.

It’s no wonder that world leaders attending Bush’s G-20 Economic Summit, would much rather have dealt with Obama than Bush.

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for these world leaders, especially those with half a brain and a grain of common sense to deal with Dick Cheney’s Puppet-in-Chief and his my-way-only method of governing.

Sitting across from him at a meeting or dinner and having to endure Bush’s insipid, crass, rude jokes and incessant smirking must have been appetite destroying to say the least.

I’m still amazed that Angela Merkel didn’t haul off and deck Bush after his sneak attack from the back on her shoulders.

It’s also surprising that we never heard that Bush started frat (fart) food fights at the dining tables. Maybe not that surprising since he can go on endlessly about food and might not want to waste any.

If they could put up with Bush, cringing all the way, I guess they’ll find a way -- just as we must -- to tolerate a U.S. president who commands respect through his intelligence, thoughtfulness and ability to listen and work his way through solutions to problems.

The thing that impressed me the most about the 60 Minutes interview besides the Obamas' seemingly total comfort with themselves and each other, was when Obama said they will try different things to solve problems, and if they don’t work, they’ll try something else.

No more governing by insanity.

Doing the same thing, throwing more money and/or lives at the problem, and expecting a different result.

A Revolution in American Elections Without a Shot Being Fired

by Sandy Sand

Only in a democracy.

Democratic people don’t riot to overthrow tyranny, although George Bush gave us a thousand reasons a million times, and most of us who are appalled by his every Constitution-busting action would have liked to do just that.

We also would like to see inauguration day be this Saturday and not wait 76 long, long days.
Seventy-six days, a nano-blip in cosmic time, but far, far too much time for George W. Bush to do more damage.

We are a patient lot. We won’t storm the ramparts of the White House.

We will wait until January 20, 2009. Then we will demand that our new president and congress do everything in their power to overturn every evil Bush edict, fiat, signing statement and proclamation, and do it with all due haste.

We will take our satisfaction in knowing that the cold hearted tyranny and reign of the Bushes and the neocons is over, and the legacy of George W. Bush is that of the worst president in American history.

A legacy that will be a monumental challenge for any other president to beat and be an even worse president.

FOX Delays World Series Game 6 Due to Hurricane Barack

by Sandy Sand

Proving that money speaks louder than ideology, the Fox Network has asked for and received permission from Major League Baseball to delay game six of the World Series by 15 minutes.

That is…if there is a game six.

The Obama campaign has made a major television buy on all the networks on October 29th to air a half-hour special.

Sports events are never pre-empted except in the case of a national disaster, such as 9/11, or in the event of a natural disaster as the earthquake in San Francisco that delayed the third game of the 1989 World Series between the Giants and Oakland for 10 days.

Fox and Fox News may be the National GOP Network, but when it comes to money, the umpires at Fox ruled that ideology struck out and money won.

John McCain Linked To Jackson Five

by Steve Young

Details are now coming out revealing a close relationship between Senator John McCain and four performing Jackson brothers who together with McCain, were known as the Jackson Five in the early 70’s.

The bombshell news offers a rare glimpse of a younger, hipper McCain, much different than the cantankerous, 72-year-old whose favorite song is “Dancing Queen.”

McCain spokesman, Tucker Bounds, denies any real relationship between McCain and the Jacksons.

“John McCain was only 38-years-old when the Jacksons were really hot,” said Bounds, “While they did sing in the same musical circles and wore similar hair styles that were hip at the time, voters have to remember that John McCain voted against creating a holiday to honor Martin Luther King Jr. If I’m not mistaken, both King and the Jackson’s were black.”

Despite Bounds denials, the record offers a different perspective of McCain’s earlier life.

After returning from his prisoner of war imprisonment in Hanoi, Johnnie looked outside his home and wife for personal gratification.

Known to enjoy singing high-pitched Abba tunes to annoy his Viet Cong captors, Johnnie, looked to exploit his musical talent. After trying to make it with such groups as the Four Aces, Four Preps and the Four Freshman, he attempted to kick off his singing career by visiting the home of Joe Jackson, a former Jehovah Witness whose children wore the same Afro-hairdo that Black Panthers and other 60’s radicals like Angela Davis, Eldridge Cleaver, and Clarence Williams III favored.

The elder Jackson was looking to replace his son Jackie, who had tired of his father’s demand that the boys wear the “fro.”

Johnnie found an undeniable attraction to Joe’s four other troubadour sons, Marlon, Tito, Michael and Jermaine. They quickly bonded and began performing under the moniker of The Jackson 5.

At the time, McCain said, “The other groups I tried to make it with had 20% less members than what I needed to be comfortable.

“If I had to wear the fro to sing in a quintet, I had no problem with it. We were young. When you’re young, you do things that today you might not be that proud of. Am I sorry? I’m just sorry that I wasn’t able to pick my do higher than I did.”

The group’s smash success together with Johnnie’s quick wit, charm and anger, made the Jackson 5 groupies’ number one Motown target. Drinking like a drunken aviator sailor and spending his cash on fast cars and faster women, Johnnie was soon deep in debt.

While partying one night with the Supremes, Marvelettes and a couple of Pips, Johnnie found his savings account at Lincoln Savings and Loan Association, overdrawn. He covertly transferred the savings of Marlon, Tito, Michael and Jermaine into his own account to cover the tab. By the end of the night, he had spent far more that he had.

To save them from bankruptcy Johnnie talked the other Jacksons into intervening on behalf of Charles H. Keating, Jr., chairman of the Lincoln Savings and Loan Association, which was the target of a regulatory investigation by the Federal Home Loan Bank Board (FHLBB). The FHLBB subsequently backed off taking action against Lincoln.

Lincoln Savings and Loan collapsed at a cost of $2 billion to the federal government. Some 23,000 Lincoln bondholders were defrauded and many elderly investors lost their life savings.

The substantial contributions that Keating had made to each of the Jacksons, totaling $1.3 million, attracted considerable public and media attention.

After a lengthy investigation, the Motown Ethics Committee determined in 1991 that Marlon, Tito, Michael and Jermaine had substantially and improperly interfered with the FHLBB in its investigation of Lincoln Savings, with Tito receiving a formal reprimand. Johnnie and Jermaine were cleared of having acted improperly but were criticized for having exercised “poor judgment.”

Royally pissed with Johnnie, the Jacksons disbanded, all going on to solo careers and child sexual abuse legal entanglements.

Johnnie would change his name back to John and go on to become the Republican nominee for president in 2008.

The Obama campaign said the Jackson relationship happened a long time ago, and really doesn’t pertain to this year’s election.

“But if John wants to bring up the Ayers thing,” said Obama spokesman, David Wade, “We’re ready."

Award-winning TV writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com) and blogs at the appropriately named steveyoungonpolitics.com