Warning! This Movie Contains Smoking

by Sandy Sand

If the smoking lamp is lit in a movie, you just might not be able to handle it.

In a country that boasts it’s a world leader and can take on any enemy and win, we’re told we’re too infantile and weak-minded to not be influence by seeing actors smoke in movies.

These control freak asses are going a controlling freakazoid step too far.

By their logic, we are incapable of watching anything without being overwhelmed by E-vil desires.

How about a warning on any movie where eating is involved? We could become morbidly obese.

There’s driving while doing anything else; we won’t be able to get into our cars without crashing.

Ew! Yuk! This movie contains gay scenes.

Drinking alcoholic beverages in this movie. After viewing you will walk out of the theatre and directly to an AA meeting where you will have to introduce yourself as Sally No Last Name.

It’s contagious. This movie has characters with diseases.

No rod sparing. Actors playing parents will not be allowed to admonish their pretend children or give them a well-deserved swat on the tush, it might lead to child abuse.

The religious right is demanding that there be warnings on all movies depicting divorce, but movies showing wife abuse are okay, because everyone knows man is the boss over woman and women better obey…or else!

Politicians want a warning on any movies portraying honest pols.

Warning: This movie contain a shoe-throwing scene. Don’t get any ideas.

Science fiction movies, too. The aliens will control our minds.

Unfortunately the mind controllers aren’t space aliens, they’re Earth-bound mind control freaks and need warning signs tattooed on their foreheads.

Warning: Mind controllers are dangerous to your freedom to think for yourselves.